It’s the new craze! The new statement! The sheeba-booba to the gleepa-zooba — it’s honey!
You may know honey, well-known as the gross orange-yellowy thing that comes from bee vomit. Eeyuck! But wait: it may be incredible for you! This mouth-smacking unknown substance to all of us is incredible for you, while doctors say so at least. Which doctors? Don’t worry about it. Despite what doctors say, public opinion is all that matters!
“Ggghfhfdgfdhdmouf sticky owowowowowwwwwwwgggak,” Barack Obama (4) said, struggling.
Raving reviews flood the TikTok For You Page as teenagers all over the globe get their tongue stuck to the roof of their mouth, possibly permanently!
What are the health benefits of this wonderful elixir? Let’s take you on an adventure. You take in a mouthful of honey. Once the wonderful taste subsides, you may feel your heart grow three sizes. Literally. Your body circulates much more blood and you gain an iron deficiency. YECOOL! Furthermore, your stomach may get stuck to itself. This is an important benefit as you eat less because your stomach capacity is smaller! Who needs Ozempic? That’s sooo last year. Honey’s the new trend! Honey! Honey! Honey! Honey! Honey!
This trend comes along after a curious scientist decided to kill a thousand bees for their honey. As everyone knows, for every jar of honey you murder a thousand bees as violently as possible. This scientist asked to be unnamed, and we will respect your wishes, Emily Shields! The scientist decided to take a full mouthful of honey from the dead bees and the effects noticed drove her crazy! And of course, like all things that are bad, it swiftly became a trend. “I drink a whole bottle of honey everyday and I’;m;l fyyiiinneee!!” The original author said. “Evweryttrhinnnggg is fiiinnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,.,.,n.,mbvbdfkhjbsdfkaefwlqewhaefbhj”
AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is not the original author. This article was found below a corpse that was entirely yellowed, almost jaundiced, but… honey colored. Corpses don’t talk. They don’t. I know they don’t. And yet, if I listen to this corpse close enough, I can only hear one word:
Honey.
