Ummm, so like the penguins are fighting humans. Okay, so boom, let’s go back in time. Once upon a time, there were some rude and mean people who were like “let’s have a fishing competition,” then they were like “yeah, let’s do it on a penguin’s hunting and mating land”. So then the United States was like nun umnnn and they banned them to save the Penguins. And everyone lived happily ever after. Sike, my boy, you thought this was over, oh it’s just getting started. So, like the Penguins were still heated, they held a meeting. In an exclusive interview with the penguin from Happy Feet, Lovelace Ramon. Ramon stated the following.
“I was outraged that they decided to hold their silly fishing competition on our land”. He also stated, “I can’t wait to get our lick back on those gosh darn tootin humans”.
As you can see, the Penguins were outraged. So what’s next for the penguins, you may ask? They have assembled an elite team of penguins to “get their lick back.” This team includes the penguins of Madagascar, the entire cast of Happy Feet, surfs up, and even Minnesota’s Zoo’s African Penguins. Ray Muhm, an expert penguin communicator (no credentials were provided), translated the following.
“We are astonished that you Humans [emphasis on humans] would do such outrageous things,” said Penny penguin. “Do you see us going to your parks, schools, cemeteries, and invading your land? No, I don’t think so”. “ I can’t wait to get our lick back”. When asked to comment further, she was neglected.
Some humans said they are on the penguins side and fully support them. They were too outraged that people could do this to the poor, defenseless penguins. And I 100% support the penguins, honestly, you should too, because what would you do if someone came onto your land, started taking your resources, and forced you to leave? Wouldn’t you fight back, too? Exactly, I would too.
So if you see a penguin coming at you with a baguette, you should run because they will start flying towards you at full speed. If you see 3 penguins in a group coming toward you and they start to circle you, you’re cooked, cause they will start to peck your ankle, and once they get a hold of your ankle you don twin.
What can we do to counteract this, you ask? There are many things—number 1. When you see a Penguin, make sure you offer it fish chips. Not fish and chips, fish chips if you give them fish and chips, they will peck your leg until you fall, they will rob you, and they will buy their fish chips. 2. Go online with a ukulele and make a public apology in the form of a song. 3. Beg and plead for your life, and maybe they’ll possibly spare you. Or just call animal control idk man, I just work here.
Moral of the story don’t make Penguins mad, they’ll fight back. And I still stand with the Penguins, so if you make them mad, don’t come crying to me, cause I will not help you. Be nice to wild animals, even that one sibling that is lowkey as nasty as a pig (my little brother). Ummm, bye drink water, and mind your business.
