April Fools'

Toothpaste Oreos: A hidden delicacy

Story by Cat Pogreba, Fashion Editor • April 1, 2024

Yumyumyum in my tumtumtum

Have you ever sat down and thought “golly gee, I wish I could eat thirty tons of chocolate while also being healthy,”? WELL NOW YOU CAN! I’ve been LOL eating these delectable snacks for around 3,502 years now, and boy (not to assume ur gender teehee) let me tell you, I don’t think I can ever go back to regular toothpaste. Toothpaste oreos are the most delicious snack that is currently trending around the country Earth. I don’t even think a simple explanation can do it justice, you need try the recipe IMMEDIATELY!!! hehehhe

Step won: go shopping at Target!
Step too: find oreo aisle!
Step 3: pick up an oreo pack!
Step for: walk over to the cashier lane!
Step 5: pull out 439 pennies from your shoes!
Step 9 I mean 6: PAYYYY!!!

Now that I’ve walked you through how to buy oreos, get home ASAP! The next procedures are very confusing for most people to understand, but don’t worry, I’m going to simplify them for you all.

Step 1: find a butter knife! Or oreo knife in this case! hehe
Step 2: get that icky icky icing out of your oreos! It’s contaminated with hydrochloric acid.
Step 3: get some toothpaste from the kitchen!
Step 4: FILL UP DAT OREOOO!
Step 5: TAKE A NUMMY BITE OUT OF YOUR CREATION!!!!!!!!!
Step 6: all done!!

Yay! Now you can eat as many oreos as sub-humanly possible while still being healthy and having lovely breath! “So coquette!!” – my dad.

Have fun munching! xoxo – Cat LOLOLOL

About the Contributors

Cat Pogreba, Fashion Editor

Cat Pogreba is a senior at Columbia Heights High School, and it's their first year writing and editing for The Heights Herald. She enjoys writing poetry and short stories on occasion, usually about horror-related things or topics that are sure to infuriate her considering that's the best way to have an impactful story. They're not in any school activities or events since they struggle with being socially anxious, although she does enjoy being dramatic and always has fun dressing up / trying new styles.

Emarie Kusler, Co-Editor-In-Chief

Co-Editor-in-Chief Emarie Kusler is a senior who is returning for her last of four years writing for The Heights Herald. She is often found participating in her school's speech team and loves to engage in debates while pushing her knowledge of the world to the best of her ability. Outside of her efforts in school and extracurriculars, she absolutely loves caring for her pet dog and squirrel, sketching the beauty in the world, reading academic literature and creating her own world of words through poetry. Some of the artists she listens to the most are The Weeknd, Lauryn Hill, and Celine Dion. When she isn't singing along to her favorite music, you can find her re-watching shows like "The Queen's Gambit" and "Bojack Horseman".